10% of the people create
90% of the conflict
Yet most of us use the same (misaligned) conflict skills on those 10%.
HERE AT CONFLICT INFLUENCER™
You'll learn to use the RIGHT skills for the 10%.
Influence any conflict, anywhere, anytime.
ESCAPE THE DREAD & EXHAUSTION, RECLAIM your PEACE
Your one PLACE for conflict strategies
Support for conflict navigation at home, in love, at work, through divorce, or in your community
We’ll teach you how to use our proven techniques like the BIFF Response® method (BiffB4Send) in your email/text communication to stop the hostility and back-and-forth, and EAR Statements (CalmB4Think) to de-escalate and shift upset people and hard conversations.
APPLY TO BOOK A CALLYour one stop for conflict strategies
Support for conflict navigation at home, in love, at work, through divorce, or in your community
We’ll teach you how to use our proven techniques like the BIFF Response® method (BiffB4Send) in your email/text communication to stop the hostility and back-and-forth, and EAR Statements (CalmB4Think) to de-escalate and shift upset people and hard conversations.
Schedule a Free Call
Providing every support you need across the full spectrum of conflict
including high-conflict
REAL CLIENTS, REAL RESULTS
If you're struggling with your co-parent, family, friends or work colleagues this course is for you!
"Megan's course has made a significant impact on my ability to handle various interpersonal situations effectively. Learning to de-escalate tensions, write clearly, respond thoughtfully, propose solutions, and make requests in a diplomatic manner transformed how I navigate both personal and professional interactions.
By keeping interactions brief, informative, friendly, and firm, I've not only reduced stress but also fostered more productive exchanges. This approach has helped in minimizing misunderstandings, streamlining communication, and ultimately finding constructive paths forward. Megan's Conflict Influencer course has been so beneficial to me in multiple aspects of life!"
REAL CLIENTS, REAL RESULTS
I went from gearing up for court (ready with my lawyer), to mediation, to dinner with my entire family.
"The skills I've taken from the books, the online courses and hands on training in this Conflict Influencer class are invaluable. I now have the confidence that I have the missing peace that can turn things around for my marriage and my family's future."
REAL CLIENTS, REAL RESULTS
"Conflict Influencer provided me the necessary tools to help those who were previously considered unhelpable."
If you dread dealing with a specific individual
You’re likely dealing with a high-conflict personality.
When managing these high-conflict situations, standard communication and resolution practices just won’t cut it.
High-Conflict Personality FAQs
For those *tough caseS* dealing with people with a high-conflict style
What causes a high-conflict personality?
A combination of some or all of these: genetics; temperament at birth; attachment development; unresolved trauma; family and social role modeling. Some seem to get stuck in this repeating pattern that makes relationships difficult for them and is fairly self-defeating. It's been building throughout their life and become a part of their personality.
How do you communicate with a high-conflict personality?
Communication must be done in an opposite manner from communication with everyone else because the operating system "brain" of this individual works in an opposite manner. Engagement requires structure, thought, and calmness as you navigate through their many upsets, their reactivity, their defensiveness and resistance. Essentially your communication must work in a way that de-escalates their unmanaged emotions before engaging and stimulating problem-solving; that sets limits (and sometimes imposes consequences) on their extreme behaviors; that responds to their misinformation and cognitive distortions.
Can high-conflict people change?
Most do not because they don't see a need for therapy because this IS their operating system, which feels entirely normal, natural and necessary to them. Some do if they get to the right therapy and stay long-term. Mostly those around the high conflict person must acknowledge and accept this and then adjust their own expectations and adapt their communication and decision-making about that relationship.
How do you treat high conflict personality disorder?
There is no such thing as a high conflict personality disorder, therefore, there's no prescribed treatment for it. What we help you with is understanding high conflict patterns of behavior and adapting your expectations and response.
How to spot high-conflict people?
Remain skeptical of all new people you meet. Spot them by listening to their words, your emotions, and paying attention to their behaviors.
How to deal with a high-conflict spouse?
It's complicated and tricky, but mainly you must exercise discipline to stop yourself before engaging in your usual ways; overcoming your natural reaction and communication patterns; and learn to use EAR statements in conversations; to stimulate problem-solving and divert from arguments by avoiding the many traps and pitfalls; to stop reacting and respond to that person's operating system differences in the right way.
How to deal with a high-conflict co-parent?
Must learn the necessary communication skills such as our CalmB4Think strategy with EAR Statements and Think Actions; our BiffB4Respond method for written communications; learn to not take things personally; learn how to make proposals with our ProposalsB4Agreements method; learn to pick your battles; learn to give yourself encouraging statements; learn to stop taking the bait.
Are high-conflict people narcissists?
They might be or might not be. The "label" doesn't matter much. What does matter is knowing what to do when the high-conflict personality patterns of behavior are present. "What to do" is important. The label/diagnosis isn't necessary. The "what to do" piece will handle any type of "label" such as "narcissist" or "borderline", "sociopath", etc.
The Conflict Influencer™ Blog
LISTEN TO THE PODCAST
*It’s All Your Fault!* With Megan Hunter, the Conflict Influencer
Co-hosted by Bill Eddy, creator of the High-Conflict Personality Theory
Exploring how people with high-conflict personalities weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship...just about everywhere.
Listen to the Podcast
FREE QUIZ
Are you dealing with a High-Conflict Situation?
Find out in the free quiz
Plus, we’ll give you our favorite tools for effectively managing High-Conflict Situations so you can de-escalate the high-stakes interactions and stabilize relationships while your confidence increases